My boyfriend has a drinking problem

I 23 F) have been dating my boyfriend (24 M) for almost 3 years now.

To cut to the chase, he has a drinking problem. There have been instances of him getting black out and asking girls for nudes, and to fuck. I’ve also caught him searching up and hitting up girls. Most recently during 4th of July, he got blackout and caused a huge fight with my family.

I have taken him back because I am the type of person who is always giving someone another chance… obviously even when they don’t deserve it.

Since 4th of July, he has been doing great, but on his way home today he got a beer. I freaked, which I guess you can say is my fault for not giving him the benefit of the doubt, I didn’t give him the chance to prove that he wasn’t going to go crazy. So I freaked, and he left to get more drinks.

I tried explaining that doing so hurts me. He said if I can’t handle him drinking, because he literally said he will never stop, even if it’s once a month, that I need to leave.

Can you guys PLEASE help me get the reality check I need?

I love so fucking hard I hate myself for it so much. I love so much and I just keep expecting for things to change. I love him, I would do anything for him. He says the same, but it’s obviously not true because otherwise he’d actually stop drinking.

If you were to ask me why I’m still with him, I’d say it’s because I love him so much still.

I see his true colors, I know we could never go back to the way things were. I am so fucking aware about everything, but my love literally keeps me fucking chained. I hate someone having so much control over me, and as much as I try to stop it. I can’t. I hate it.

How do I stop loving the person I’d die for?

tl;dr : my boyfriend is horrible and I need people to give me a reality check.