18mo sleep regression - at a loss

For weeks we have been going through what seems like an 18 month sleep regression due to separation anxiety. Prior to this, our babe would nap 90 min daily, sleep 11 hours at night, put themselves down calmly for a nap, and let us tuck them in for bed after our routine. Now it is a complete shit show.

It started at night. Our normal routine: dinner, some play, bath, milk, books, toothbrush, rock, bed. Now all goes well until we take one step the crib and all hell breaks loose. Last night we tried going in every 15 min and the screaming lasted 3 hours. Now, they are also crying for naps as of this week. Night sleep has been going on for about 3 weeks of issues. Some nights they’ll sleep 3 hours, wake up, and then want to be awake and scream for 2-5 hours if we try to put them back down.

Considering their age, they know words but not enough to make a difference.

The crying and scream is resulting in them hitting their head on the crib rail, throwing out any stuffed animals, and coming close to throwing up. They are standing the entire time, not sitting or laying. It’s to the point we have to physically take them to another room to calm down enough to try again.

We have tried sitting in the room, standing by the crib, lullabies, white noise, night light, their regular blanket and lovey in the crib, shorter nap, bigger meal before bed. I am going TO GO INSANE.

I keep seeing old posts when searching about they cried 15 min and then went to sleep. Not a chance. Or sat in the room by the door (makes them more hysterical). Our kiddo is ahead of their milestones and developing like crazy right now. I am so so so tired and frustrated with this.

I will take any advice please 😭😭😭😭😫