Self diagnosed AUHD, finally set some Psychiatry appointments at 36, been prescribed off-label meds, bad experiences so far, medication advice?

I've been on Reddit for a bit, somehow haven't thought to look this group up before. I'm just going to state it here, I'm gonna get roasted for self diagnosis, but I'm crashing and need outside opinions.

At some point youngish I connected that I wasn't picking up on other people's "social cues" or emotions. I generally don't see faces. I've spent a lot of effort attempting to read people and react how they expect. Thanks pattern recognition. I guess I focused on that? But now "intuitively" see small pattern changes with my pets and can read emotions seemingly well.

I've been very successful in an engineering field and it never occurred to me. I finally did well in school once topics had my interest. When I was engaged, I could listen to the lecture, take notes, get A's without ever studying, my peers got weird/jealous about it.

Dated a really narcissistic ex, changed myself in unfathomable ways for her during Covid.

A few years ago I realized my brain worked very differently from most people. It really troubled me, for a long time, I was really unhappy

I watched the Netflix show Atypical, and stuff just started to click. I've researched and I know it isn't perfect, but time after time, I related. I truly got ecstatic, it wasn't just my brain working this way.

I have taken may self tests and they all show strong spectrum correlation.

Despite how happy I felt to not be alone with what's going on in my head, still lost myself again.

Cut to a few years later. I'm 35+, my systems aren't working anymore. Some very bad relationships I changed myself too far and have exacerbated from rules in my head, ADHD diagnosed ex girlfriend (off meds) and see that there's a piece of that likely in me too.

Went through a darker time and an acquaintance offered me a 50mg XL Adderall. I've been offered many times before and declined. I took this one and saved it for a day that it was just me, at home, trying to get stuff done. It was probably my most peaceful day of the last decade. I wasn't worried about being watched by neighbors, I wasn't stressed about all the puzzle pieces that needed to happen first. I just calmly did things that were on my checklist. I didn't crash after, it was the best day I had in a really long time.

I finally made a psychiatrist appointment, have been trying to book therapy. They confirmed "strong concentration problem" but haven't verbally called it ADHD or otherwise, seem to completely dismiss the potential autism factor, I don't know.

I haven't told the psychiatrist about this, just trying to let them do their job. First perscribed Stratterra, had some really weird sexual side effects. Been on Wellbutrin for probably 5 weeks now, and just more fidgety. No mood or energy/"concentration" improvements.

If something other than stimulants works, I'm all for it, but so far it's not working. Advice? I've been really hesitant to tell them I liked what Adderall did if I didn't get it properly, but I feel like I seen what my brain can be like if a medication is working and everything we've tried so far has been nowhere close.

Yes, there's a lot more layers, I'll keep trying to find a good therapist, etc.

Thank you all.