Tired of all the chaos I bring into my life

I am just utterly exhausted by myself. Every day is a scramble, a rush, and a new fire to put out. I feel like there’s this wicked smart, elegant and fun woman inside of me, but I’m so burdened by my own mind and I present myself as sticky fingered toddler missing a shoe.

All the chaos and rushing and constantly making things harder than they need to be, doesn’t feel like who I actually am. It’s not who I want to be. I’m just tired of fighting myself all the time.

I wrote a poem because I’m sad.

An anchor holds me down,
beneath weather of my own making.

I long to be weightless,
to know what it is to move through life
without fighting the gale.

Like an albatross,
my soul was made for the sky.
But my mind is weather I cannot escape,
and the anchor is mine to carry.

I am tired of the sea.