i actually don’t know what to do. i need help

i (f19) have been experiencing limerence to my friend (f20) for almost two years. we’ve had a lot of ups and downs but we had a really big fight(?) a few months ago. it was me getting mad at her and blocking her for not doing what she said she’ll do and being super avoidant. i mess up a lot and i’m not even sure if she likes me anymore and i don’t want to bother her.

we made up but the same thing is happening again. she doesn’t call or text or interact with me at all. like she wants nothing to do with me. but she’s supposed to be my best friend.

i think about her and daydream of us being close again everyday. every day and night i think of her. i am so heartbroken and i’m grieving our friendship. i tried everything to move on and not let her control my mood so much but i can’t. seeing her profile pop up resets everything i work for.

it feels like the friendship has ended long ago and i’m just holding on to the idea of her. i don’t know if she even likes me anymore but i have no idea if i should care or not. she doesn’t care about me rn but unfriending her would upset her. should i do what i think is best and unfriend her everywhere so i can try moving on again or what?

she’s either in my life or she’s not. and if she’s not i want her fully out. should i do what i think is best for me or keep being a good friend and do nothing?

also i feel like she is tired of me communicating. i feel like i always complain and i don’t want to do it anymore. its really hard for me to because ive done it so many times but nothing happens. it seems logical to stop being friends with someone who doesn’t try or do nothing but bring you down but we were so close and she really is kind but she feels like a stranger.

am i over complicating things? idk what to think. idk what to do i wish someone or something could just tell me.