Sometimes for me having those moments with you is all of it

And having something just idk normal and ordinary. But all the thoughts constantly are there and my heart is so heavy that you are here. Sometimes I have to catch my breath because I just can’t I can’t explain it. There’s some things that are a little heavy that not that I have a question about but I think about that outcome quite a bit and I have to tell myself I know I would be okay but if I could see you every once in a while.

I know for myself after thinking about what possibly most likely did I’ve sat with it quite a few times now and have gathered knowing that I would be able to hold myself together for me and for you if it ever did. If not that’s still okay too. Also times when I think what you and dad have talked about sometimes terrifies me a little but I am a much different person today too. When I found out that when she moved back to hi for a few years he never once went to visit just like he never had came. I know it doesn’t make much sense but it’s big things for me like that that make me so bad i don’t I don’t know why I want to be so open with you but I do.

I’ve noticed that even with things not said you have been much different with me and I want to know why . I still will always hold so close to me things you shared with me that still to this day can never make me or have me let go of you, but that would be me I would be that woman for that and I’ve learned to be okay with it as I could be.