Why did I

I begged you to stay. I hate myself for that sometimes. I hate myself for thinking that every time I remember I did it so you'd stay with me. I always told you I didn't ever want to do it, not for anyone, ever in my entire life and yet I did it for you. And the worst part is that I never regretted it. Never because you stayed for a while longer.

I was happy as long as you stayed, even when I felt humiliated from realizing my own desperation, even after I was hurt by the mere act of doing it. I never thought, I would ever beg for you to stay, to keep me, to love me. Maybe you loved me more than what I could understand, but how do I keep my full trust in you knowing a part of the reason you stayed is because I begged you to.