I'm fkn miserable

Hey guys, just wanted to rant abt my pathetic life. For starters, I know that I am in complete control for how my life turns out. However it seems that everyone around me views me as incompetent. No matter where I go or what I do, someone's always nitpicking at something basic that I do. People don't trust that I can do anything good. My family has been spoiling me and enabling my lazy behavior so much to the point to where I am very underdeveloped. I turn 20 this year and have no license, for example. And I will say that I can't hold that against them forever because when I turned 18, that became my responsibility. But I just feel like I missed out on so much because I was never taught basic life skills as a child. Whenever I express or have expressed anything dealing with independence to my family they ask me "what's the rush?" Or they try and say that I can't actually go through with that goal b/c I don't have x y and z done. They're right, but instead of being supportive and believing that I can figure it out on my own, they shut it down.

When I went to college, a family member of mine works at a college as well and she can help me with certain things. I ask her for the help, but she literally does everything for me. I promise I am grateful for the privilege that I have but it becomes crippling if I just keep having everything handed to me without doing anything myself. My family member basically said that I have to run shit by her before I make a decision about college. Like...wtf? Again, I'm glad she's there for me in that regard but why do I have to run shit by you? I'm an adult. Her and my grandmother keep trying to force things on me that I simply don't want to do, and they say all the time, "I know what's best for you."

And don't even let me get started on my other family member. She is very nitpicky but tries to play the victim when you call her out. She picks at the way I wear my hair and my style. My style leans alternative, and I wear baggy clothes as a woman. And as for my hair, I'm natural and I usually wear it blown out with volume. She tries to say slick stuff disguised as advice. I think she's trying to control me sometimes and tries to put me into this box that I just don't belong in. She'll never admit to it, but she wants me to be someone else.

I only seem to have an alright relationship with my father. He's like my best friend. Though, he enabled most of my behavior when I was younger, he tries now to be there for me in a way that's supportive.

All in all, my life is complete bullshit but now I'm not gonna use that as an excuse or blame anyone else anymore. Nobody has to believe in me if I've got me.