I shouldn’t feel this way

I have a loving family. I have a mom and a dad who both love me more than anything. I have friends- people to talk to and support me. I’ve lead a perfectly normally life. Nothing bad has ever happened to me- I have no trauma. I haven’t even as much as gone through a bad breakup. And yet I hate myself. I don’t understand what could have possibly caused this. I refuse to believe that it was always going to be this way. All of my friends have struggled with depression- and they’ve all had reasons. One of my friends lost his mother young- another was abused physically and verbally her entire childhood. One even lost their partner to suicide. They have very valid reasons for struggling- their struggles have a source. Who am I to say that I’m depressed? Who am I to complain? My life is fine. Something hardly anyone can say nowadays. I can’t deny myself the truth of what I feel but simply feeling it makes everything worse. I’ve caused the people closest to me pain for no reason and there’s no way for it to stop. My death would only bring more pain. I don’t know what to do, my suffering is pointless and yet I can’t overcome it. I feel like I’m looking for attention but I swear that’s the last thing I want. I’m not even fully sure why I’m making this post honestly.. I just feel like I’m going insane.