I made the mistake of opening up

I made the mistake of opening up

I was talking to this person for 2 months consistently. We live quite some time away from eachother (600km) but I am not discouraged by physical distance when it comes to pursuing connections. Our conversations were genuinely great, we were horny for eachother and I am between jobs this month so it was agreed upon that we would try and meet up this month.

A few weeks ago they went on vacation with their daughter and were less active (understandable) the week after that didn't change and I expressed concern. They reassured me telling me that they got swamped but everything should be done by the end of the week. I reassured them that having 4 kids means they will have a lot to do at all times and that I understand that I am not the only thing going on in their life.

So last week they text me and we have a very, very brief conversation. The next day I ask about making plans and I have not heard from them since then. I texted to ask if everything was alright (in a calm, non-acxusatory manner) 5 days later, then again a few hours ago (3 days after the last message) in a more vulnerable way expressing my anxiety and asking for an update (again without accusations). They were online since then and still ignore me.

This hurts. It hurts so fucking much. I am autistic and forging connections is a difficult process for me. Also with most people I keep around I enjoy their company but it is rare for me to come across someone who's attention I actually **crave**. I have not opened up as fast to a new person like this since 2021. And I feel like the biggest idiot in the world for allowing myself to get hurt like this again. I cry, I was barely eating before due to unrelated struggles, now I eat even less and the thought of food that would normally make my mouth water makes me feel nauseous.

I hate that whenever I actually get excited about someone right out of the gate it blows up in my face like this. I feel like I am back to square 1.