Getting a new WiFi router led to our divorce after 13 years

I have nobody to talk about this, even my own family (I don't want to tell them), so I'm writing it here;

I got a new router a while ago, which has some advanced features. I was playing around and found some traffic to p*rn sites. First I thought it was a misclick or virus or something, but then it repeated. So, I started investigating and found that the traffic is from my wife's mobile phone. The wife that was distant to me for a while, not interested in anything with me, not really talking to me, and now this. So, I wanted to make sure that it's intentional and checked her history just in case and found no p*rn of course but found other stuff;

She was checking out sites for fast cash loaning, which made me surprised because we don't have any credit or need it. I checked around the house and found some papers from a bank and court and a contract with a lawyer to deal with that. I lost my mind because the amount of debt was growing by year as I find more papers and evidence from her computer. I kept checking to find out what she needed money for and why she didn't tell me.

Finally, I initiated the conversation about the contract I found for the lawyer. She told me that a couple years ago she took a quick cash loan, as small as half of her salary, to pay back next month, and she couldn't do it, so she took another one from another company and so on. Basically a debt snowball. The total sum is about 50 times bigger than the original loan, just because she felt ashamed to tell me. I took credit to pay the court case because she can't anymore.

Moving forward, I kept her under surveillance for a while because she didn't tell me everything, I know the actual amount of debt. Recently she met this guy on the internet, started talking to him the whole day, even next to me sometimes. I never checked her conversations before, I always trusted her, so I never felt I needed to check them. I decided to check because it started irritating me as she sometimes couldn't work because of talking to him (we both work from home).

I was shocked when I saw all these messages between them. There's nothing intimate, but she was talking with him like she's single and lives alone. I know her way of speaking, and she was definitely trying to impress him.

I brought up our marriage on our anniversary day. She was like, "yeah, 13 years, so what?" I kept pushing her to tell me what she feels about us. Finally confessed that she doesn't know "what she feels". As you might have guessed by now, it means she doesn't love me anymore. I was in pieces after hearing those words from my wife, and then she asked if we could have supper finally. I couldn't eat anything from that moment for days, she was fine until I decided to write him a message.

I wrote him that my wife spends too much time on social media, and she won't listen to me, so maybe it would help if she hears it from someone else. My intention was to show him that she's married, not alone. That message made my wife so sad that she started crying. She's been trying to convince him that this marriage means nothing, and the husband, I, left her (I went to visit my family for two weeks). She doesn't know that I know what she wrote him.

We decided to try again, to get back to our previous life. But she won't give up on him. She hides to talk to him etc. We argued a couple of times, and I finally gave up when I found out she talks to one of her friends about him. She's in love like crazy, meanwhile tells me that she loves me. Just because she's afraid I would write him again.

So, I said f*ck this, I'm leaving, you don't deserve my love after all I sacrificed for you.

I need to start a new life now, a new job, maybe a new country.