What should I do?

I HATE BEING IN LOVE! FUCK NO! PLEASE! NO! GODS! NO!

A little context here. During elocution auditions I met this boy. Last year, when I was prefect I saw him a lot. He'd joke around with me a little and for me. It was love at first sight. For me. But then I saw him again as the teacher talked to him. Our eyes met and I fell deeper in love. I talked to him. He was quite shy. But extremely respectful. I feel harder in love. He looks at me with... Such a calm, serene expression when I ramble. I just want to kiss him! His lips are so pretty pink and that glint in his eyes when he smiles is just. URGHHH! PLEASE! GODS! NO!

The way he just joking showed me his clean hands at the rangoli competition... I'm actually crying a little while writing this! I asked him for lunc, he bailed on me. After summer vacation he TAKES ACCOUNTABILITY AND APOLOGISES! Only to tell me he likes his neighbour.

We sat together as audience for the singing competition. Gods. Being beside him! I just wanted to put my head on his shoulder. Someone was singing Wanna Be Yours by Artic Monkeys and I was just singing along. Looking at him because yes! I have a secret in my heart! Yes! It's harder to hide then I thought! Yes I just want to be his! We made a bet, I wanted my friend to win, he wanted a dude who was singing hawa hawa to win. When our principal asked who should win I screamed my friends name and she won. But the look of joy on his face? His dude won in the hindi category and well. He was screamin, giving a standing ovation with his friends and he was so happy! I was just watching and... That's when I knew I loved him.

He looks at me while passing by my class. He smiles at me. We shook hands that day and I didn't want to let go. I don't like physical touch but I just wanted snuggle him.

Everyone says he's ugly. Including him. But to me? He's literally the most handsome boy in existence! His acne is a turn on for me. His glasses make him look cute and that voice....

There are times when I just want to kiss him. When I lie in my bed at night all I think of his him. I want to hold him. I have dreamt thrice about him. My dreams are prophetic time to time. But I've dreamt thrice of him! More than any crush in my past.

I just want to fuck him so bad but he'd never fuck me regardless of whether he likes me or not.