Doctors /GP issues

Hello , I just wanna rant cause I feel like I’m going insane

I’ve been having morning sickness for nearly a year now. I’ve been on different tablets and tried different methods to fix it but this week it’s been really bad and this morning it all got too much

I struggle with depression and it all got too much to deal with cause it’s been about a year of constantly feeling sick in some capacity. I just didn’t wanna be here or have to deal with it anymore and I couldn’t stop thinking of SH

I called my GP to get an emergency appointment and I was number 2 in their queue. Once I spoke to them I said I’ve been dealing with sickness for ages and I need an appointment to fix it . They said they didn’t have any appointments today even though there was only 1 person in front of me in the queue and I called first thing . I then mentioned that no I need one today it’s making me suicidal and I can’t deal with it anymore . Bare in mind like I was crying. He went and spoke to his supervisor ect who wanted to know how long I’ve had it which is for a year. They then said again there no appointment for today and then I’d need to be triade which would be an app like next week. They ended the call and I ended up calling 111 who sent a referral to them and then requested I called the GP back. The woman at the GP then said that I didn’t make it clear that I was suicidal and that they thought I just had a stomach bug so they didn’t think it was urgent.

I feel like I’m going crazy or maybe I’m just being ignorant but if someone mentions that they’re suicidal surly that should be a given that it’s urgent like I nearly SH this morning because I feel like that. Maybe it’s me not communicating properly but I feel so stupid cause I feel like I’ve caused an issue and been rude to the reception but like I said multiple times it was urgent and that I was suicidal like crying on the phone. 111 was so much more empathetic and honest with what they could do for me whereas I feel like the GP just didn’t wanna deal with it. And I feel like they’re being daft and stupid cause how did they think it was a stomach bug if I told them I’ve been dealing with this for a year like ?????

I feel so confused and conflicted cause I feel guilty for being stern with them about an appointment today cause I know NHS staff are under a lot of stress and it’s hard to deal with but like there just wasn’t a level of compassion or even just brain cells in the whole situation

I’ve ended up getting an appointment later today after nagging them but now I feel like I don’t even wanna go they’ve just made me feel so stupid.I feel like I’m trying to do things right. Like if I feel suicidal to get help and try to talk about it but like when I tried today I was shut off and they very clearly didn’t believe me

Idk sorry if I’m being ignorant or stupid but I’m just so confused embarrassed and annoyed at this whole situation and just wanted other peoples takes on it