Attempted a few months ago. Getting the idea to do it again.

So I attempted a few months ago by OD. Was found unconscious by a relative at home alone because i was not responding to calls or texts. What boggles me is how could i have survived a massive dose for nearly a day. I feel hopeless and started throwing my life away. Don't have any friends to talk to about how i feel or even someone to hangout with. I do not even know why i feel this way. I am still recovering from that previous attempt and it has greatly impacted my daily life which made me feel even more hopeless and started getting the ideations again. I'm not posting this for people to tell me not to do it. I just posted to have an outlet as to what i have on my mind and also try to help others who might need someone to talk to.