i realized i’m ugly and i can’t move on

i have always thought i had potential to be drop dead gorgeous, i was always like “i just need to get that hair cut, dye my hair get this makeup product try this makeup technique and when i do all of them together on the same day ill finally reach my full potential and how i view myself from the inside”. but this year in may i would say. i did do all of those things on a day and the results did not come out how i thought. i just realized that im ugly. but the thing is that the hope i had before it was what pushed me through being constant at the time gym and being confident in myself among other but now i feel destroyed. for example i used to always be manifesting and watching words i say to myself and doing things to improve how i talk to myself and being holistic but now i see no point. despite those things still being in my interest. i feel like i have no battery. since may i stopped doing most of the routines and things ive been doing for so long because of that realization. i want to go back to doing it but it feels pointless im so depressed over it i want to just move on and get it through my head that im ugly but it feels like im still in a limbo. im not sure what to do i feel sluggish and it’s all because of how i look. the thing is growing up i never was bullied for my looks or anything so im not sure why im so obsessed with my looks. i’m so tired i really wish i was beautiful it wouldve genuinely solved all my problems. trust me it would and now i dont know what to do. it was all a lie. i just dont know how to get over it.