They can be a good buddy

Dearest ______ ,
yeah he might be your “ good buddy” out on the town. Or shit, even for a weekend out skiing or fishing- but, he’s abusive towards his wife and or children. Like, that buddy of yours that’s always bragging about cheating on his 10/10 wife is actually abusive. I don’t care.

The same the other way around. Your buddy’s new girlfriend has slept with everyone in the group? And, she’s secretly still sleeping with one of them? And you’re all just sitting around… what? Allowing it? She’s hell to him to. But, she’s got connections and she’s “popular”. So, we let the crazy morals slide.

Someone can be a good buddy to you, a good go- to - friend… and still be an absolute tyrant at home to their partners and families. That’s actually the hallmark of a *successful* abuser. They have members of their community who will vouch for them. Because, they don’t treat everyone crazy.