I'm Done Poisoning Myself to Act Neurotypical at Events

Have you ever wondered why neurotypicals can easily stop at 1 or 2 drinks at an event? It’s because for them, alcohol is just an add-on to a social experience they already genuinely love.

Meanwhile, some of us neurodivergents are using it as a coping mechanism—poisoning our nervous systems just to tolerate environments that feel like absolute sensory hell.

The Brutal Reality of Masking:
Masking at work or grabbing groceries during the day is one thing. But trying to mask at a party with 20+ people in a loud room for hours? Keeping up a fake "small talk" mask in that environment is pure sensory torture.
So what do most of us with AuDHD do? We overconsume. We drink because we are trying to survive environments that fundamentally drain and overwhelm us. It numbs the sensory overload, quiets the chaos, and helps us mimic "social flow", acting like armor, until it completely backfires.

The Big Realization:
For the longest time, I thought I was drinking because of social anxiety. But I finally realized the truth: I wasn't just anxious; I was aggressively overstimulated. I was using alcohol to force my brain through chaotic group communication that goes against every natural instinct I have.
And let's be real, most of us would much rather stay home with our pets, our favorite comfort shows, and snacks than force ourselves to mask at a social event just because society says we should.
I’m officially done paying for a few hours of "fitting in" with three days of sensory burnout, crippling hangiety, and social damage control.

Choosing My Kind of Fun:
I’ve realized my ideal night is being at home with my pets, my favorite comfort shows, and snacks—a space where I feel completely at peace. I don't need alcohol at all in that space—similar to how neurotypicals don't really need much alcohol at social events. Why? Because for them, alcohol is an add-on to the fun, meanwhile some of us neurodivergents are using it as a coping mechanism.

I am finally choosing the joy of my own company over the exhausting pressure to perform extroversion.

My New Rules to Protect My Peace:

•The Energy Check: If an event is going to be so draining that your nervous system demands you poison it with alcohol just to cope, it’s an automatic invitation decline.

•The Aftermath Cost: Ask yourself: is a temporary social obligation truly worth multi-day sensory burnout, crippling hangiety, and damage control? If the answer is no, stay home.

•The 20-Minute Escape (If You Must Go): Give yourself explicit permission to drop in, show your face, and gracefully ghost after 20 minutes. (Just text the host later: "It was so good to see you, but I had to run to another commitment!")

Does anyone else deal with this? Are you finally letting go of the pressure to perform? How are you handling social events without burning out or turning to a drink? Drop your survival tips below.