I think my best friend resents me when good things happen to me, am I imagining it?

I’ve been friends with this person for about 15 years, since we were teenagers. We’ve always had a slightly competitive dynamic. When we were younger, she often portrayed herself as the responsible, confident, disciplined one, while I was the lazy, insecure, ditzy one. Our lives have taken very different paths since then, and I sometimes wonder if that has changed how she sees me.

I’m not saying my life is amazing or that I’m better than her, I still have struggles of my own. But I’ve built a stable life for myself, while she’s struggled financially. She’s unemployed without any degree or any basis to pick up a good paying job and generally doesn’t take responsibility, it’s always someone else’s fault. Plus she has a habit of making plans without actually being able to afford them.

I’ve noticed that when I tell her about something good I’m doing without her, her energy often changes. She’ll make a slightly negative comment, seem less enthusiastic, or change the subject. I’ve actually gotten used to keeping good things to myself or downplaying them.

For my birthday (a culturally significant one also), we had planned a trip together, but there were ongoing issues about money from her side and I felt like she insinuated me paying for her (which is an ongoing pattern), so I cancelled the trip. What hurt was that instead of suggesting another way to celebrate my birthday, she mainly seemed upset about the cancellation and not being able to afford it „as usual".
Another friend then took me out for my birthday, and later that night we spontaneously booked a rather expensive trip together to a country I’ve dreamed about visiting for years. It’s an actual childhood dream of mine and I’m still ecstatic about it. Keep in mind the main friend I’m talking about and I wanted to visit this place for a long time but it was always more of a dream than reality.

I told my best friend the next day. Her immediate reaction was basically, “So the other holiday we talked about isn’t happening now, right?” even though we hadn’t actually planned or saved for that trip. This was a comment about a trip she wanted to go on with her child. She wanted me to come along with them, but again with her financial issues it was more of a fleeting thought than anything else. No planning etc.

Since then, she’s shown zero curiosity about my trip. It’s been a couple of weeks. No questions about where we’re staying, how long we’re going, what we’re doing, flights, accommodation, etc. I even brought it up again when we booked our first accommodation. Instead of asking about the trip, she immediately started talking about what she wanted me to bring back. Also insinuating me buying her stuff instead of giving me money to buy it for her.

Meanwhile, when she went away with her sports team, I spent around two hours talking to her about it because I was genuinely interested.

I’ve noticed the same attitude in other situations. She likes a certain sport, and when another person from her social circle mentioned going to an event she likes, my friend immediately started questioning how that person could even be interested because “she doesn’t know anything about it.” She often seems to need to establish that someone else isn’t as knowledgeable, capable, etc.

She also seems much more enthusiastic about things when she’s involved. For example, I’m planning to finally get my drivers license (we both don’t have it). I haven’t told her because I already know she’d probably immediately start asking me to drive her places, something she regularly expects from other people without necessarily contributing to fuel. She already told me that she wants me to finally get it so we can go places together.

The weirdest part is how different other people react.

A coworker heard about my trip and immediately said he was jealous (in a fun and friendly way) but also really happy for me, asked questions, got excited about where I was staying, and even started talking about things I might see there.
Another friend who isn’t nearly as close to me also immediately got excited because she wants to visit the same place someday.

That’s when I realized what hurts.

I don’t expect my best friend to never feel jealous. I think you can absolutely be envious of your friend and still think, “I’m jealous, but I’m so happy for you.” That’s what I would do.
But with her, I increasingly feel like she can only genuinely celebrate my happiness when she’s somehow involved in it.

There’s a phrase I recently saw: “Some friends want to see you happy, just not happier than them.” And it really clicked for me.

I don’t want to keep bringing up my trip anymore. I’ve already mentioned it twice. If she asks, I’ll happily talk about it, but I’m done trying to create opportunities for her to show interest.

Am I seeing a genuine pattern of jealousy/resentment, or am I interpreting everything too negatively because I’m already hurt? And if this really is a pattern, how would you handle a friendship like this long-term?
I really love her and she is very important to me, but I’m really struggling with her behaviour.