Depression is selfish and that's okay

Opinion / Thoughts

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I've been on both sides of the coin. Im not saying people struggling with mental health are inherently selfish, but I am saying that these issues will often lead you into not being your most giving self (duuuh). And it's okay. It's okay to say it - yes I am selfish, yes you are selfish. Yes I did stay in my room and rot for a month and ignored you even though I know that hurts you. Yes I was depressed and selfish, I chose my feelings over yours. So what? Life's often shitty, we are all shitty people at some point so what. I lost a lot of friends during that time of my life and I'm not angry at that, they are allowed to say I was selfish for not responding, calling back or putting ANY effort. Mental health is not a ticket for forgiveness.

I am also allowed to be hurt by other people who are struggling and therefore not in the capacity to give.

I guess this is just my way of making sense of those situations without the pressure of forgiveness or understanding on any side. It feels very freeing to acknowledge the selfishness without immediately jumping to say - but I/they didnt have a choice they were depressed. Yes I didnt have a choice and it also turned out to be selfish. Where to draw the line even? For me rn I make sense of these things by allowing myself to name selfish behaviours as selfish. Strictly behaviours, not the person behind it. At a diff phase in my life I will probably move to another way of understanding these things, but right now this frame of mind feels very freeing.

Anyone relating? Any thoughts? Open to changing my mind and learning new things.

Posted Aug 12, 2026, 11:01 AM UTC

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