When “Everything Is Fine” Becomes a Lie?

I come from a business background, but growing up, I never experienced my family as the “perfect” family that it may appear to be from the outside. My father has always had extreme anger issues, while my mother is a homemaker who was once given dreams and expectations of having a career before marriage. Their marriage happened largely because common relatives suggested the match, and although everything looked settled and respectable from the outside, there was a lot of suffering underneath. My mother faced constant pressure and mistreatment from her in-laws, while my father’s verbal abuse and anger created an environment of frustration and tension. Unfortunately, much of that frustration was eventually taken out on me and my sister. Even when I try to explain that my childhood was difficult because of the way I was raised, they often deflect the conversation or make me feel as though I am exaggerating it.

According to them, because my father earns money and has the responsibility of managing a business and many people, his anger is somehow understandable or justified. But earning a living does not erase the impact that his behaviour has had on his family. I also feel that my mother never really had an emotional outlet or the independence to build an identity of her own; over the years, she became so dependent on the marriage that it feels as though she lost herself in it. Yet she continues to dismiss these problems because she desperately wants me to believe that “everything is perfect.”

My father has even called the three of us prostitutes during his angry outbursts, and this time my mother retaliated by calling him a pimp.

Then, suddenly, my mother started telling me that nothing is actually in their names and that the properties belong to relatives. I responded bluntly, “That is not my fault. Before getting married, why didn’t you judge the situation?” She replied that she was simply made to sit in the mandap and did not really know anything about what she was getting into. And, perhaps because I have reached a point where I am exhausted from carrying the consequences of decisions I never made, I simply told her, “Then that’s not my concern.” It sounds harsh, but there is a part of me that feels I cannot keep being made responsible for the consequences of choices my parents made before I even existed.

Also some extra info..my father has openly expressed his liking as in ‘crush’ for two women..and my mom seems to be ok with it? Coz he is not acting upon it and attraction is natural? Secondly he went to a thailand trip which included pattaya when i was in std 1,with his grp of friends..now we all know what happens in thailand..! Also when i was really smol,i hv heard my parents fighting over some woman on fb,when i asked my mom few days back abt this incident..she said it was abt something else and he never cheated! Idk whats true and whats not.

(Please i dont want to be given advice on financial independence.Working towards it)

(used chatgpt to express properly)