Heartbroken meltdown

So last night was probably the worst breakdown/meltdown that I’ve had in a long time regarding not being able to have another child. Found out another person that I know is having their second child, and I completely lost it. Before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably. Unfortunately, I am just not able to afford a second child. Out future plans of moving to a better school district would not happen if a second child was brought into the picture. Among other things of not even being sure if I can mentally and emotionally handle another child. But every time I hear a pregnancy announcements of second children the jealousy and sadness I feel is more than I can handle. I pray and hope that it gets easier overtime because honestly the feelings I had last night was rough. It’s like the worse heartbreak I’ve ever felt. I then spiral and I become so upset at myself that here I am at almost 34 years old and can’t afford another child like other peers around me. I then fall deep into a self pity party which I hate! Honestly, i flip flop so much in being “confident” in a OAD decision and knowing it’s the best decision overall, to literally obsessing over the life I thought I would have almost everyday. I guess after last night im just completely drained and exhausted and just needed to vent. I am already in therapy but me being me I hate talking about this in therapy because I just feel like I’m complaining lol if you made it this far thanks and I hope I’m not the only one to feel this way.