i hate adults so much but i keep going back to talk to them

i’ve been on the internet since 13 and didnt start talking to them til i was 14. idk if it’s to do with my autism or anxiety, but i have a serious saying no problem, like i just can’t do it most of the time bc idk what to expect from the other person. that might stem from the reactions ive gotten irl when i say no, im not sure. dont worry i DO abuse the block button but only when im certain i cant be found.

its just when i think about it, so many things i consider normal aren’t normal at all. but i dont know how to get out of the loop. its not even just online don’t get me wrong, its adults in general.

i obviously blame my parents for the fact they’re both horrible people, and other adults irl for making me think i was an adult-like myself at 12 years old. every once in a while when things crash, i realise im gonna be fucked up forever. and it makes me even more mad when the problem is telling me talking to adults is bad for you like thank you for telling me 3 years too late??

i never ever speak up about this because i don’t wanna get myself or anyone in trouble but if ur like 13-15 just don’t ruin ur later teen years. don’t listen to anybody who calls you mature bc you definitely aren’t 🫠. like im genuinely worried what my adult years are going to be like for me