40f needs someone to talk to

English is not my main language, so please be patient with me. Also this is my first post ever to Reddit, it really took courage to write my thoughs down.

So where do I begin. I am 40 years old woman, married to a man. I have had feelings for certain types of women all my life and I have just let those feelings pass. This year something has changed and I no longer can hide my interest in women. There's absolutely nothing wrong with my husband, but still I long for something else. Yes I do feel like an asshole for dreaming being with a woman.

I work in hospital setting with high hierarchy system. I fell hard for a person working with me, but never had the courage to show my feelings in any way. I want nothing bad for her, no way I want to put her (or mine)job in danger. I realize there's no way we can be together, but damn it is so hard to see that gorgeous woman walk past you and you would do just about anything just to hug her. Now I may sound like a creep, I promise I am not one.

I really would love to have someone to talk to, just share feelings and thoughts. I am lost and need a little help. Thank you for reading this.