Anybody else had to completely change their life after diagnosis/umasking?

Hi,

I hope you're all well!

I will try to be as concise as possible, while giving enough context about my situation.

In summary, I'm 30, and I got my diagnosis a year ago. It was really freeing since I was now able to understand why life felt so hard, and why I've always felt out of place.

A month after I got my diagnosis, I got a girlfriend. We've been together for less than a year now, and things went well at first. We saw each other frequently, and even got an apartment together. Because of work, I'm at home only every couple of weeks.

I started burning out 2-3 months ago, because of work, and because of how tired I am because of my travels (8h every week). Because of that, I realised that I kind of put my autism on the side, even in my relationship. My girlfriend knows that I'm autistic but she doesn't realise how much it affects me on a day-to-day basis. Maybe because I'm a people pleaser and I'm prone to fawning, I also mask a lot. So I tend to minimise my needs, and even when I do try to explain my needs and what bothers me, it's somehow being minimised, as if it wasn't a "real" problem.

I couldn't keep going like that, and so I've started unmasking by myself, during the weeks that I'm alone. It allowed me to take time to reflect on my life, my needs, and everything else. And I realise that unfortunately I can't live with someone else anymore, and that the projects we had in common aren't aligned to my needs and my wants. Nor is our daily routine adapted to my needs, nor how I want to feel. It feels like I've been pretending to be okay this whole time, and that I'm slowly waking up. It's a bit soul-crushing, to be honest.

Has anyone else experienced that? How did you manage it? And how did you overcome disappointing people?

Thank you very much for your help!