I've never really understood why people make this kind of sad post in this sub, nor why it always makes its way to popular, but I think I do now. This is a letter for Pipoca, aka Popcorn, aka Stinker.



Even though you're never going to read this, Pipoca, I wish you knew how much your mom and I loved you, and I'm really sorry I took that trip. Your mom and I never take vacations together. We never make travels together. This was the first time, and now it will be the last.



It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It was always supposed to be your older brother first, who is a lovable, fat old man. We weren't ready for you to go first, especially so young. Especially in such a painful way.



It was a mistake. I never should have trusted you in the hands of another person. It should have been me at your side. If I had just taken a vacation and stayed at home, maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't have happened. I'll never know.



I'll never hear your tiny meows. I'll never be able to carry you like a baby rubbing your belly while you try to escape my arms.  I'll never see your silly face.



You'll never bring random paper balls to my hand, asking me to throw them again. You'll never try to steal my food "stealthily," even though your mom and I were clearly laughing at you from afar. You'll never keep triggering the oven's loud digital alarm in the middle of the night. You'll never sprint under my bed when I turn all the lights off, trying to sleep with us, only to meow at the locked bedroom door two minutes later. You'll never steal the little wire from a bread bag. You'll never follow me into the kitchen, inspecting every object I touch. You will never ferociously bite my knee under the covers. You'll never ask me to lift the blanket so you can sleep under the covers with us. You'll never sleep on my feet all day while I work ever again.



Today was the first day I made coffee without you sitting at the counter by my side. And I broke.



I wish I had hugged you more. I wish I had hugged you one last time. I didn't even say goodbye because it was such a short trip, and I hate goodbyes. If I had only known it was the last one.



Your mom and I are devastated. I wish it gets better over time, but I don't think it will, not so soon. I couldn't keep my eyes open at the end of the night because they were so dry from how much I had sobbed during the day. My mind is just a spiral of your last minutes in that clinic, and I'm haunted by the images and sounds. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.



Your brother is well. He misses you. He keeps searching for you around the house, and he's needier than ever, always slapping us for more pets. I promise I'll take care of him.



We miss you. I really want to believe that you're in a better place now, little angel. I really wish you could reincarnate as another little fellow, just so I can do better this time.



I don't know how to end this because there is so much to say. So, goodbye.



We miss you so much, Pipoca