I feel like a loser manifesting my sp

As the title says...for last 2 years I have been trying to manifest my sp. Tbh, when my sp left me i fell into financial, academic and health lows at the same time. I had depression and was grieving heavily, alone.

I WANT TO ADD I BELIEVE IN MANIFESTATION as I did manage to manifest away my depression, financial crisis, and all overall my whole approach to life in terms of my goals and personality.

But the sp journey affects my day to day life. My goals and visions have climbed up beyond my natural 'if only I can to this...' to 'i am gonna do this crazy thing ' eg, i went from someone who had pcod and ed to managing my weight and mood only to now want to do Muay Thai and wake up at 5am.

This is just one goal of 4-5 in each area of my life. But every day I get reminded of my inability to manifest my sp which delays these goals. I will be honest, I spent a lot of time reading Manifestation, watching content rather than put law into practice but not it's just seems I wasted 2 years doing nothing and it won't happen for me ever. I even doubt what and why do I want to manifest him? Is he truly the one? Spending my time fantasizing him watching me be loved and adored well by another guy or him apologizing to me over and over.

It's a bit of a mess and it keeps getting me delayed to live life. Can anyone help me on how to get out of this loop? Any tips and stories of your own?