Looking For Support and Advice. I Think My BF Has BPD.

I just found this sub so if I’m not following guidelines well I apologize.

My partner and I have been together for 3 years (both men). I’ve tried to show him continuously that i will love and support him. That we are in this relationship together. I’ve learned that I’ve been people pleasing and self abandoning to take care of him for so long. And this past year he’s needed more and more of my time to feel okay.

It’s taken a long time to see things more clearly like this. What my part in the rollercoaster is and what he implicitly wants from me without telling me. I nearly lost my job trying to soothe his needs and be there for him. I’ve told him something is wrong here that the dynamic has to change. I think he desperately needs therapy and we’re working our way towards that.

On top of this I’m recognizing bad behavior in my family. Taking the blindfold off my eyes and seeing things for what they actually are. It’s tough. And I see my mother abandoning herself everyday dealing with worse behavior than myself. Half my friends moved away or are unavailable due to life now. My world shrank so fast, in the matter of a month. It’s sad, I’m sad. And I’m just trying to keep it together and cope.

When/ how do you call out bad emotionally manipulative behavior? I feel terrible calling it out knowing that they are dealing with really heavy emotions. Fear, abandonment, a black hole of no self worth. I’ve felt that, I’ve been there. I would never want to be turned away in those moments. But when I’m blamed for how they feel or not doing things in the right way to not set them off told that they still don’t believe that I love them and will be there for them what do I do? What can I do?