please help me

Guys I’m exhausted and losing hope to heal this anxiety. I have had this anxiety for 15 months. Imagine losing out on your little girls whole 2nd year of life and your sons 5th year of life because you are consumed by anxiety. And still looking at your kids and not being able to feel any joy in the motherhood that once gave you so much peace, joy for living and purpose. I am a shell. Please help me rid this anxiety that the mmr I gave my son over a year ago when he was about to turn 5 is not going to cause him to have sspe. I have read too much. My brain is fried and I need healing. I want to get back to my kids. Please no comments saying mmr can cause it. I’m really fragile and just need to hear mmr can’t cause sspe. From mom to mom I would really appreciate it anything that can help