Scared to date again

I'm currently 18 and I want to start actually dating again but my ex was such a bad experience that I'm convinced I'll never find love as a trans man

For context- me and my last girlfriend were on and off for years and started getting more serious in highschool. We were back together at some point my sophomore year and she never discussed wanting to keep our relationship private but apparently she wanted to.

I was hanging out with some of my buddies and one of them asked me if I was dating someone and I was honest about who I was with- apparently he knew that one of his friends liked her and was actively pursuing her so the next day he told him to take a step back cus I was with her

She then came to me upset that he wasn't flirting with her anymore and asked if I'd told someone we were together. I told her that I mentioned it to my friend and she got really upset.

She came back to me later that day asking why I "outed her to everyone" I was confused as to what she meant and she said that now everyone knows she's bi (I didn't even know she was bi and no one was saying she was they just knew she was with me)

She then told me that people were saying "horrible things" about her and she showed me and all they were saying was that we were dating. I asked around and no one thought she was bi everyone still thought she was straight

I decided we should end things and asked to talk to her in person outside of school and she just texted me before we could meet to breakup with me

The next day everyone was asking why I lied about dating her which is how I found out she was going around telling people I had made everything up because I liked her and she didn't like me back

After that her and my other ex would start having loud conversations in front of me about how they're both bi and heavily prefer to date women (despite only ever being with men)

I've felt kinda shitty about what I did to her but also I don't really understand what I did wrong- I would've kept it hush hush if she had told me to but I she just assumed it would be obvious that she doesn't want to be associated with me

Because of this girl I haven't been able to have an actual relationship or even think about getting into one without having crippling anxiety about being viewed as a lesbian or some secret that I'm giving a girl the power to reveal whenever she feels and turn me into a freak show

I'm pretty much stealth now and want to keep it that way

There's a girl that I really like who I think likes me back but I'm not sure and I want to ask her out but I have no idea how to go about anything to do with dating without getting very uncomfortable now

I'm also scared she'll reject me cus I'm not entirely sure she really likes me (I have reasons to think she does like she says she wants to kiss me, tells me she's trying to flirt with me, calls me baby, asks me to touch her, had me pick out a thong while at the mall and buy it so she could send me pictures/wear it and "know that [I] picked it out", etc.) but what if she just thinks of me as a girlfriend or just not entirely her boyfriend the way should would when she's with other guys or what if she's just flirting as like a joke and I'm supposed to know not to get attached because obviously she wouldn't go for someone like me

I don't know what to do or where to start and I'm scared I'm gonna cause an issue all over again