Doesn't Matter How much you study its never enough is it ??

I’ve been studying for the CFA l2 exam for the past seven months. Literally every single day. Of course, there have been ups and downs, and some days have been more productive than others, but I’ve been consistently putting in the work.

The problem is that my mother constantly pressures me to finish my portion faster and start taking mocks. She keeps telling me that I should finish everything early, revise, and start doing mocks, as if I haven’t already thought about all of this. I’ve explained my plan to my parents thousands of times: I’m going at my own pace, I plan to finish the entire syllabus by the end of this month, and then I’ll spend the remaining time revising and doing mocks. But somehow, they never seem to understand.

These days, my mother barely even talks to me properly because she thinks I’m not studying enough. I also play games for around two hours a day just to switch my brain off and release some stress, but she absolutely hates it. For her, gaming is basically kryptonite. She sees those two hours and seems to forget the countless hours I’ve already spent studying.

The exam is still three months away, but somehow I already feel like I’m living through the consequences of failing it.

What makes this especially terrifying is that, if I fail, thats that for me. I would have to take whatever job I can get, and I’m scared that my life would become a living hell because of my parents. I already get compared to children younger than me and told how much better they are at everything. I’m terrified that if I fail this exam, that comparison will only get worse, and everything I do will be considered insignificant.

And this isn't just about the CFA.

I used to love music. I tried music production because I genuinely wanted to learn it and create something of my own. But over time, that passion was crushed. I still remember being compared to my cousin because they were interested in coding while I was interested in music. Instead of being encouraged to explore what I enjoyed, my interest was mocked in front of other people.