Unsure if this is actual connection or facination

I want to start practing a different religion other than Christianity, but the only religion thatd ever spoke to me is completely fictional. its the worship of the goddess hylia from the legend of zelda series.

I cant explain it but i want to be able to worship her as a god, but shes a fictional creation from NINTENDO. and the goddess of hyrule, not ya know. america.

I feel like an insane person. and I also cant tell if its true connection, that hylia for me is a speaker for a guide beyond the veil, or its just my fascination with religion, real and fictional.

I feel kinda... lost. This is the most spiritually connected ive felt to anything, but I also know I have a horrible habit of gaslighting myself into belief. I just feel. Confused.