does anyone else feel completely apathetic in all their relationships???

i (17yo f) have always (since at least 5th grade) felt completely apathetic towards all my relationships in a weird way. i just began to recognize the pattern recently, and it’s not that i don’t care about my friends and family, but it doesn’t matter to me when i don’t see them or talk to them. i don’t think im antisocial or anything because i get lonely and really enjoy hanging out with my friends, its just odd bc over the years i’ve had plenty of friends who have moved away or switched schools, and it just never bothered me. i never cared about keeping up with them and i mostly just stopped thinking about them all together. i feel like such a bad person and a bad friend, but i just can’t force myself to care in the way i want to. i’ve never had a crush on anyone, i never feel truly close to my friends, and i just feel like im missing some essential human part of myself. is there something wrong with me?? should i seek professional help???