How do you handle emotional outbursts?

When I get really overwhelmed, especially often by confrontational and stressful situations, I start crying uncontrollably. I can't think straight, can't get out complete sentences and take a while (often over 30min) to finally be able to calm down again, so others start seeing something is wrong. This is really shitty if you are alone in public with nobody knowing what the heck is going on. I have no idea how to handle this, especially now, when I am soon moving out and have to do stuff on my own all the time.

And then there are the anger outbursts. I don't have these in public, only around people I can also feel comfortable around. These usually happen when I am already overwhelmed and anxious or as a result of an argument. I might have to mention that while we usually get along well in my family, if there is an argument, then it often isn't pretty and ends in a lot of yelling well thought out stuff at each other, that will certainly get under the others skin.

I hate this. I am afraid to let anyone outside this family close to me, bacause I am scared I won't be able to manage my anger. My ex-therapist told me I should calmly find a way out before things ecalate, and today for the first time it kinda worked.

I noticed I was very close to go from anxious to an anger outburst, so I asked (my father, who was telling me sone overwhelming new, that completely broke my schedule) for some alone time. I got it for not even a minute before he knocked at my door, making me snap and telling him 'I already told you NO!'. He promptly ignored that too (he had good intentions, but that doesn't change that he completely ignored my needs) and when he finally left I had a really nasty anger outburst. I had a situation like this some time ago with my mom, where it was kinda similar, exept she just got angry at me for trying to get out of the situation before it escalated, so it escalated either way...

I am very happy I finally got this advice to work, at least kind of, but as long as the people around me won't accept my boundaries, I have no idea what to do to handle these sittuations better, because if I have an outburst, it and its after effects will last far longer than the situation itself and ruin my day.