Relationship with my dad seems to be getting worse

My mum died four weeks ago and I've been seeing a lot more of my dad since

But our relationship hasn't gotten any better and in fact, it seems to be getting worse

I go out to see him and he either reads something or we watch TV in silence and that's when he isn't hitting me with question after question and trying to extract information about my siblings

That wasn't too bad when my mum was around and I even found it a bit relaxing and liked having somewhere else to go but now, I just think that this is the only parental interaction I have now

He's extremely uncomfortable talking about his emotions or emotional stuff at all so we almost never discuss my mum nor does he offer advice from losing his own parents or ask how I'm doing beyond small talk

A few weeks ago, I tried bringing it up and he got so uncomfortable he went outside to water his flowers just afterwards

He's one of those older Irish people who only know how to deal with problems on a purely practical level and doesn't know how to deal when he can't come up with a simple solution for and he always has to be doing something or finding a problem to solve

I want to just be able to talk to him about how I'm doing and have him listen but I don't think he's capable of that and I don't expect him to ever change

His wife is a lot better about this stuff but she's been gone the past few weeks which I have to admit I'm somewhat resentful about it, even if I know it's not her fault, as the last few weeks have been brutal

Unlike my siblings, I can't get away from him easily or take a break from him and I'm very afraid of being ungrateful to him which is part of why I still go out to him

At this point, I'm not sure if my dad even likes me as it seems like every interaction we have now is tense and he's barely tolerating me out of obligation

Just today, I made a minor comment when talking to him, that I was somewhere he wanted me to be, and he took it as insolent and got mad. I didn't intend it as such and even said it to show I was doing what he wanted

We're very different personalities and I always get the sense he'd much prefer if one of my cousins, who he is much more aligned with, had been his son instead of me

I don't say that in an angry or resentful manner as I know it can't be easy to have a child you can't interact with or relate to easily

I even think he sees me as a disappointment which I don't blame him for, even if I don't think he'd ever admit as much

My dad is seventy-four and while he's in good health, I'm also aware of the realities of the situation and I don't want what's been going on lately to make up the last years of our time together

Has anyone gone through a similar situation where you lose a parent and things seem to get worse rather than better with the surviving one?