My Uncles best friend wanted to keep it a secret that he was “seeing” me, but everyone knows

I’m 20F, and in January (when I was still 19) I started talking to my Uncles best friend 37M after he started messaging me, I would like to say whatever the hell we were ended in May which has given me enough time to… be away from the situation quite frankly and realize how f*cked up it was.

We first met in February, and he love bombed me, said he loved me, I was perfect, he was going to take care of me etc. but it quickly became pretty obvious to me all he wanted was sex, I would suggest we go out and it’d be “I do wanna take you out but…” or he would never ever feed me when I was there despite saying over and over he wanted to cook for me, I literally wasn’t worth a penny to this man other than transporting me, to and from his house with the hopes he will get sex that day.

In all honesty about a month before so in April I started feeling exhausted, I never thought I’d be the young dumb girl who got with an older man who just ends up manipulating them etc but I thought because of his connection to my Uncle and family he’d never do that, I was wrong, just gives a false sense of trust, so while it hurt for him to tell me he doesn’t want to see me anymore, it needed to happen, I was exhausted, kept telling myself I was going to end it and didn’t know how to get the words out every time.

You’re probably wondering why after 3 months I’m talking about this now, well he got a girlfriend a week after ending it with me who he’s public with unlike me, probably because shes 42, doesn’t feel as guilty or some shit, and apparently within the last few weeks she has been going nuts because she suspects him of cheating, talking to other women etc. I don’t know if she found out about me before that started, or within the last few weeks but either way when I went to talk to my grandfather yesterday, who works both with my Uncle and his best friend, he mentioned this guy and said his gf walked to their work and got in the truck with him, and my Uncles best friend rolled down the window to say something to my Grandfather and apparently she went “is that her grandfather?” and he said “shhh” and my Grandfather kind of looked at them then at her and said “I know I’m going deaf but with how loud you talk I can hear you, and I wouldn’t talk bad about my granddaughter if I were you”

Which led to me saying something like “You know, Pappy he was going out with me for 3 or so months right before he got with her”, I had never had the courage to tell my Grandfather, who also practically raised this man by the way (his father was abusive and eventually left, and when his mother needed help, he stepped up as a father figure), that we were seeing each other, not to mention when he was so secretive about me, I know he didn’t tell a soul about me, and now that its been a few months and my head is clear, I know why, and having to reveal the truth was long overdue honestly, living in such a small place as us, word is going to get around.

My grandfather whose a really quiet man kind of looked to the side like he was in thought of how exactly to word what he was going to say, and simply said “Well I’m going to tell you like this, he doesn’t think any of us know but we live in a very small place and we all live on the same street, we can see your gateway from our house (my grandpa lives with my Uncle), we saw him going in there getting you and dropping you off, his house is right beside where I lived (he still owns that house however doesn’t live in it, but goes there occasionally just to make sure everything is okay), we’ve seen you at his house, we know”

Honestly, huge fear of mine and such a relief at the same time, when I was “with” him, I was terrified whenever I went to see my Uncle or Grandpa because I didn’t know how much they knew, which I now know is nothing from him but they weren’t stupid, and not being with him, I was terrified his new girlfriend or him could use it to hurt my life, say i’m a sl*t or some shit because I kept going back to man knowing all he wanted was sex when I didn’t know how to get the words i’m done out. If it wasn’t clear we live in a very small place where everyone knows each other and while I was stupid enough to think if he chose me a few months ago we could’ve got through everything together, but he didn’t choose me (not complaining), and I would have to live with peoples judgment all alone, but more people than he thinks knows, and as my Grandpa said, its not right at all what he did to me.

To my Uncles best friend and his grown woman of 42 years, I think its really low of you that you’re talking about a 20 years old girl who is just trying to move on with her life and quite frankly wants nothing to do with either one of you’s, having my name in your mouth is just so much unnecessary drama.