I became popular on TikTok and it’s the worst thing ever happened to me

The background(skip if you want) You have probably never heard of me, but I’m kind of famous around the teens from my country who are into jfashion. I use my native language in my videos, so you won’t find me. I’m not a celebrity, I’ve been recognized on the street only twice in my lifetime. The videos from my personal account have at least 15000 views, and I also create videos on the second account, which is not about me, even though sometimes I show myself here, but about my mom’s business connected with sewing jfashion clothes. They have from 50k to 500k views. But it’s enough for this small community

The story: So, I’m definitely a recognizable person in the community, and that is the problem. I try to hide it and act as if I’m a happy influencer, but now I wanna confess: I wish I’ve never been popular there. Those people are awful. They pretend to be menheras, but they are really just bullers. They write something about me always every day. They keep saying that I’m ugly, fat, that my nose is giant and my appearance is the worst thing that have ever seen.

The most popular point of view is that I’m too old, that I look 40+ in my early twenties. They spread some gossips about me, one of the worst is that I had sexual intercourse with my own mom. I have no idea how tf they created this. They are cropping my pictures to show my body hair, acne and so on.

They are stalking on me, they have found my personal social media accounts, some of my relatives, teachers and now are spreading their pictures on social media. My mom got the most hate, they can’t stand her job because she sews Jirai kei clothes that are not affordable for teenagers

They have groups connected with the hate on jsf influencers and they post something about me almost everyday. I left all those groups because I can’t go through this amount of hatred.

I was in the hospital for mentally ill people and they are blaming me even for this. They are acting as if I’m just a sucker for attention, even though I’ve posted something about it only in my personal social media

They made me believe that I’m really ugly. I am trying to improve my appearance, but they are still discussing the old cringe pics. The more new content i post, the more attention to the old ones I get. It’s a vicious circle.

If you think that I’m a problematic, you are mistaken. I’ve never shown my questionable opinion on the internet, I never discuss politics or smth like that. And that’s not what they are blaming me for. I’m just ugly. They don’t even hide it. They are recommending me to kill myself, to self harm, to isolate myself only because I happened to be born ugly. I’m sorry about it. I agree that I’m not pretty, but why does it matter? I create videos where I just tell something about jfashion. I’m not trying to act like a pretty girl because I know I’m not. I’m just a storyteller, why do you care about my look? I was not ready for it. I love my blog and love what am I doing, but the hate is not something I expected to be that strong. I need to imitate they everything is all right in order not to show the haters that I’m weak, but here I wanna confess that I’m fed up with it being popular was my dream, but in reality it is awful