Remembered you again

I can’t reach you. I have no way of telling you what I want. How much I think of you just to calm my mind and heart.

I just wonder if you still think of me like you once told me you did when we were out of contact for a year. You reached out after i’ve already moved and accepted you as someone in the past. Tbh I could write a whole long letter but then I would think, is there really even a point to pondering about this? What if she’s fully moved on and found someone? What if she’s no longer around? What if she comes up again one day after being fully out of contact for another year?

I sometimes wonder if you’d actually really be in love with me when the day comes we actually met in person. I wonder if we really fell for each other or it was just our own versions of each other we fell for. I honestly dont want to think about it and I just wish I could see you and know you in person.

This letter doesn’t really express much of how I felt for you. It’s just one of those days that I remember you all of a sudden and want nothing but talk to you and I have no means of doing that. Maybe I’m just lonely out of nowhere, and I just need a safe space to talk to - a person who gets me. You get me, and you proved it many times. I just sometimes wonder if i’m just one out of many other people you’ve fallen for romantically.

Idk man, this was just a blurt of my thoughts recently. I better go back to studying. Still hoping to see you one day, and if I don’t I hope you’re doing well in life. I honestly have no idea whether you’re still around or not. All I have are memories of the words you said to me and the connection we had when we found each other and fell unexpectedly. It has been 2 years. Thank you for being the one that taught me the emotion of love and how to love myself. You’re a special one. You’ve changed my life in so many ways you don’t get to see. Thank you for all that. Thank you for loving me (and secretly hoping you still do but i’m happy for you regardless). Take care.

Ciao