Have always thought I was straight but can’t stop thinking about fucking a chubby guy

35 and always been with women and in a relationship but these past few months I can’t get hard to anything apart from other chubby dudes. Crave that weight on top of me sucking on my nipples and me theirs whilst riding my thick cock. Desperate to feel an another man work up a sweat with me. Can’t stop checking guys out in the sauna but to worried to make a move.