Shutting down in social interactions and feeling like a freak. Anyone else?

Hello,

today there was another one of these situations - I got completely frozen and can´t and won´t interact with people.

Sometimes or most times actually there´s not something which triggered me or maybe on a very unconscious level but I can´t tell. What happens is, that I fail to interact with people. I can´t answer, I won´t talk, I won´t participate, I just sit there frozen, like those art sculptures and listen but don´t say a word. I can´t think of anything to say. I feel detached. My body feels frozen in place.

For instance, today, my parents and brother - whom I hadn´t seen in a while - came to visit me. I broke a glass and somehow my mood got fouler from there on. The evening ended with that I sat at the table with them but wouldn´t talk. My parents left and my brother stayed for another twenty minutes. I got up and started tidying up the kitchen because I didn´t want to say anything or engage with him.

He left after a while because there was no conversation.

This happens frequently and I am perceived as weird I´m sure. Maybe it´s dissociation. I can´t bring myself to feel or engage. I feel like there´s something very wrong with me and I don´t fit into society because I can´t follow the basic rules of human interaction.

Does anybody else experience this? Even while writing I can´t even express myself properly. My fingers move across the keyboard but I can´t even describe with words of how I´m feeling.