Narcissus was a young man, who was cursed by the gods to fall in love with is own reflection. As he bent down to get a drink of water, he saw his reflection for the first time, and didn’t recognize it as himself and fell madly in love. He refused to leave the water and spent the rest of his days wasting away and looking at his own reflection, and died in pain from the unrequited love in his head. There’s a lot more to this story, but that is a basic synopsis, and I left out a lot of the story for brevity’s sake, and suggest you read the short version of the story online, as it’s a very short and good read that’s message is timeless. 

 Cobra spent his days, staring at himself in a computer screen. Going live and making videos. He loved staring at himself in Photo Booth and thinking how cool and how much of a badass he thought he was. He spent these days of staring at himself, actively poisoning himself with alcohol, tobacco and greasy and massively unhealthy fast food and food hacks. Despite staring at himself as often he did, he never thought to brush his teeth, and actively let the teeth rot out of his mouth to the point he could not enjoy a hot fresh foodhack, or a refreshing cold drink combo. He spent his very last days staring at himself in that computer screen. Instead of seeking the medical attention he desperately needed and perhaps could have saved, or at the very least, prolong his life by a small amount to give him the time to tell his family and friends that he loved them. Instead, he thought “I have to make a video about how bad I feel and how I’ll power through this, because I’m a badass like that.” Which was ultimately his coup de grâce. One final video to end his years of depression, loneliness, addiction, physical and emotional pain, indifference, and just in general a life of intense suffering, albeit, a suffering caused nearly entirely by his own doing. 

I don’t know what Josh was thinking as he was taking his last breaths (he most likely did not die peacefully in his sleep. I don’t blame Clint for telling himself that, but he most likely died scared and in intense pain). I don’t think he regretted how he lived his life, but I do suspect he wished he had the time to tell his friends and family he loved them. Unfortunately he did not get that. I do genuinely feel Josh had enough of life, and was ready to leave this world and finally put an end to his suffering. Rest in peace Josh. You were a very complicated person. I wouldn’t say you were a good person, but you weren’t all bad either. You were as human and it gets. You did it your way. 

Josh F. Saunders  
3/26/1991 - 8/21/2025

Crazy it’s already been a year. I’m looking forward to see how this community commemorates his life in 9 days. Hope to see some beautiful stuff :) 

King Cobra JFS, The Tragic Greek Myth of Narcissus, And The Nature of His Last Moments