Thoughts on Femdom Dynamic?

So, I do Dominate pretty frequently in my relationships. Rarely a full scene but the dynamic is there and that's more or less how things have worked the entire time I've been active in an adult way.

The thing is, I also have plenty of experience with how a partner will try and manipulate things and how I'm in "charge" until I don't do the exact thing they want me to do, or the play is over. Then suddenly my importance is downplayed and I either have to dump them, deal, or try to get through to them. The third option only sometimes works and I really don't feel like I should need to do.

I might have some distrust and a need to get something tangible out of a dynamic as a result of this issue. It's also why I'm leery of lifestyle femdom. I have seen the posts in femdom forums about Dommes trying to mind read what their partner needs, following them around, dedicating everything, destroying their own boundaries and even being judged for things that in another relationship would not be a problem. It's the classic full feminine accountability without any concrete status and it bothers me to see it.

It can't be the entire scene, but the number of posts that catch my eye makes me wonder.

That said, the Findom scene is heavily just exchanging goods for services at this point. I get why. While dyed in the wool Dommes exist, adult work tends to be an exchange of cash for services. Findom has come to mean the same thing with spice, at least, according to the general pop. I haven't been happy with a lot of the interactions I've had.

Again, that's not the full story but it feels like it's a lot of what pops up in the space.

Unfortunately, I want to scratch my itches. I can't just throw in the towel and go home. If I just went pure femdom, without cash, would there be a higher chance of actual play, or, is much of the online space just cooked?

It could be me. My personality is generally not well received but if that's the case, I just have to keep going anyway.