I just found out my crush passed away

19 years ago I was in my 1st year HS and I'm new in that town. This guy played table tennis and he lived in the next street. I really like him before and the "kilig" feeling is always there. I tried to talk to him, a simple chitchat in my college days but I did not confess my feeling before (syempre dlagang filipina). After a couple years I found out where he was working as a Bartender but I really don't have that guts to see him. So ayun I keep that feeling for almost two decades.

I have this dream about him during 1st year HS, it was unclear but I remember I was really sad. The scene I remember was I saw him in a kalesa wearing vintage barong and the color of that dream is like a sepia filter.

Recently I have a relative who passed away in that town, I was thinking if I go there there will be a chance to see him. But I can't due to work demand. So the other night I saw him in my dream so I stalked him in blue app. We are not friends in my new account so I don't have any update about him. I saw this picture dated 2023 and checked the comments and found out my crush passed away! I can't believe it so I did message one his friends to confirm. I don't have the full details about his passing. I was shocked that he died 3 years ago. He may rest in peace.