i've been in a online (kind of) relationship with a guy who's way older than me and i feel like nobody's really understanding how i feel

okay so i'm an 18 year old girl, and around 4 1/2 months ago, i started talking to a guy online who's 27. when he messaged me i was 17 and he knew that, he's been 27 this whole time. obviously i understand that this is not great behavior from him but... honestly to me, i don't personally care all that much.

anyway, aside from his age, he's not EXACTLY a great person, i don't want to elaborate fully, but he's far-right. i don't really agree with his views, but again, I've never really had strong or really any views on politics so... i just don't really care all that much.

and i don't know if it's because i'm just so infatuated by him, but we've never met so idk how i'm already this interested in him. but like really, i almost feel like i'm like... in love with him. i've also never had a boyfriend so maybe that's another reason why i feel so attached to him, but i really think i couldn't stop talking to him even if i tried. everyone always tells me to block him or stop talking to him but i know that even if i did, i'd come back to him for sure. it's not about attention, i mean maybe, but it's specifically HIM. i've tried to distract myself with other men, it's never the same as it is with him no matter what.

he constantly tells me about how many girls he gets in real life, including stuff about him like... hanging out with other 18 year olds but he always just tells me "I don't really like them that much..", and he always talks about getting married to me and having a bunch of kids... he follows a bunch of girls (pretty much ONLY girls) on instagram and gets mad at me when i say something about it, Infact he literally removed me from his account so I couldn't see his following anymore....
obviously this like, made me upset, and we've had lots of conversations that have made me upset but... there is really just something about him. and it's not like the halo effect either, like it's really not about his looks. literally everybody is constantly telling me he's ugly... i mean I don't think he is but like it's definitely his personality that's drawing me in so much, not his looks. i just don't know what to do, I feel so attached to him, literally all i ever wanna do is talk to him, i know this is like common grooming tactics but... I don't know, I've never felt like he groomed me. he's really not weird with me like that, and we've had a lot of conversations about it. i feel really dumb even talking about it most of the time. and all my friends are sick of me talking to him but.... i literally don't think i could ever stop. I'd be like.. devastated if he ever stopped talking to me.

i'm a pretty girl too, it's not like I couldn't find someone else if i wanted to.... but I think after him, nobody else will ever feel this perfect to me. like there's just something about him!!! i just don't know how to fix it, or if I even should? I don't know :(