50 M4F For Sale: Vintage car. One Owner. All Original. Some Things Only Get Better With Age. BONUS: Free beverage with test drive #newyork #est

Q: Why should I consider an older model?
A: Proven reliability, steel and chrome: no flimsy plastic parts. Guaranteed no AI. They don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Q: What makes you so special?
A: Debatably charming, not a creep, and despises ghosting. On Reddit, isn’t that special?

Q: Are you even the least bit good looking and fit?
A: This is a pointless question. Are you going to believe what any man says about his own looks? But turns out I’m gorgeous. Pictures available, guaranteed to be from the current decade.

Q: Are you good in bed?
A: See the last answer, but even more so. Look, there’s a free trial offer. What more do you need? I am… unselfish.

Q: Do you accept credit cards?
A: Yes, American Express Gold and Platinum only. The 3% fee could be negotiated.

Q: What have previous customers said about you?
A: “Solid value, works as advertised, has all his teeth.” “Better looking than my sister’s husband” “Took off a star because mine came in a damaged box” “OMG, that tongue.” “I changed my name and came back for a free drive 11 times. He never noticed.”

Q: Do you send dick pics?
A: No, but thanks for asking!

Q: Are you married? kids? Done this before?
A: Yes, yes, yes.

Q: What traits are you looking for in a partner?
A: Honesty, sense of humor, and energy that matches mine. Inexplicable, magical magnetism never hurts.

Q: What else should I know?
A: I’m a kind, open minded man, relatively normal, I’m very honest and you’ll like me.

Please note: free beverage for the 1st customer.

*notabot