So dinner was a tri-tip burger and fries from a local bbq joint.

So I (45m) have always struggled on and off with depression my whole life.  Every time I've tried meds, I end up hating it and taking myself off. Through therapy and introspection, what I've found that works for me to pull myself out is working out, eating healthier, reaching out to friends and family for support, and tracking my accomplishments no matter how small.

A few months ago I felt the depression creeping up on me again. I started all my usual routines to help me through it, and realized somewhere along the way that mine and my wife's marriage is actually pretty terrible. We just kind of fell into a rhythm of taking care of the kids and working. We never spent quality time together, sex was a handful of times per month, and neither of us really made each other a priority. 

Since then, we've had some really deep, wonderful conversations. Both of us being very honest with each other and have made it a point to talk regularly without phones or kids, and even had a date night last week that we hadn't done in a long time! Generally, I felt things were headed in a great direction.

During this time, we started planning our 15th wedding anniversary. Money is pretty tight, so we just planned on day trip to the mountains just the two of us. I made sure I got the day off from work, and was really looking forward to it.

Well, it's time for our youngest child to get his teeth cleaned, and we have to coordinate with his orthodontist to get his braces wire removed, then get his teeth cleaned at the dentist, then back to the orthodontist to have his wire replaced. 

She made the appointments for the same day as our day trip to the mountains.

When I got the notifications, I texted her that this was the same day as our anniversary and our plans. 

She completely forgot about our anniversary.

She apologized, but as she already had to reschedule his cleaning previously, she didn't want to change it again. 

So now here I am feeling like not a priority again, and generally just upset at the whole situation. I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting, or if I have a genuine right to be upset as now I'll have to cancel my day off and try and figure out another day where we can do something that will likely be a month after our anniversary.

I am going to the gym after work, then have plans to see a friend afterward so I probably won't be home until after she's asleep tonight. I guess I have until tomorrow to sort out how I feel about this before I bring it up with her again.

 

Anniversary plans forgotten