gambling

hi guys, I have severe depression and a severe gambling addiction inherited from my father that could start the minute I get my hands on a credit card. that's why I havent applied for one.

I have had thoughts about killing myself because I just have unhealthy habits in general tbh and pass my time secretly drinking because I don't want to talk about it too much.

I genuinely don't think there is hope for me in this economy, but how can I deal