41 [M4F] Kansas City, MO USA - I hope you brought a snack.

My picture is the TLDR at the bottom. If you take the time to read, thank you.

In the past few years I cleaned myself up, lost 70 lbs, and started touching grass again. It's working out very well for me. Part of this self-improvement process was going to be dating again, since I have not had a healthy relationship in quite awhile. I tried the online dating thing and ended up wasting a bunch of money across five apps over a year. That has only made me feel unwanted, unliked, and inadequate. I know these things aren't necessarily true but when you're repeatedly informed that no one likes you... Yeah, I'm taking a break from that world as it seems to only hurt me. I made one friend on there, but we're not a good match.

I'm 41, live in Kansas City, and am gainfully employed with zero debt. Parents live a few miles away and we visit a couple times a month. I have my issues that I inherited from them but over all I had a good childhood without any severe trauma.

Things I like:

• Comedy - Doug Stanhope and Anthony Jeselnik are a couple of my favorites, but I'll go to any comedy show any time. I will blurt out a pants-pisser contextual joke every so often but I can't do it on command.
• Mechanical things - I used to work in HVAC service, if its broken I will want to fix it.
• TV/Movies - There's too many favorites to list here. Ask me about Plex.
• Animals - I have an old dog and an old cat. I like weird and interesting pets as well.
• Gardening - I started this year and its fucking amazing. Why did I keep this from myself for so long?
• Starting home improvement projects - Finishing them is something I need to work on.
• Therapy - Why wasn't I doing this sooner?
• Games - Video and board although I have neglected board games for a long time.
• Weekends - Due to my work this is where the majority of my free time is. I enjoy alcohol and mj as it is one of the few ways I can ease my anxiety. This is usually only on weekends, there are exceptions that are directly related to my work schedule. Ask if you want me to elaborate on this, I know it's a red flag for a lot of people. No hard drugs.
• Parks with walking trails - I'm not going on backpacking trips or anything (yet) but just walking around greeting and smiling at other people is extremely calming to me.
• Massage/pedicure/self-care - This is a new addition to my life this year. Why wasn't I doing this sooner? Its amazing.
• Reading - I put this hobby down for about 15 years like a moron, so now when I pick up a physical book to read I will fall asleep. I'm sticking with audiobooks for now. I enjoy science fiction and fantasy mostly. Currently working my way through Dungeon Crawler Carl, The Mistborn series was pretty good too.
• Music - Something else I neglected for too long. I only started using spotify last year. Before that I would just listen to NPR in the car, and whatever was on the radio in the shop at work. I like old 90s/00s rap and pop music mostly, but I'm slowly discovering newer(to me) stuff like Chromeo, The Floozies, Flaming Lips, Ghostland Observatory, and Kavinsky.

Things I am/am not:

• 5'10" 180 lbs

• Extremely patient, often times I am too patient and wait too long expecting others to learn, grow, and change.

• Thoughtful and generous - I want to share all the things I enjoy about life, you deserve them too.

• Not sterilized (yet) - I've been procrastinating the vasectomy for a couple years now. It's the right thing to do and I'm sure of that. Having a like minded partner would absolutely push me over that finish line.

• I don't gamble or practice any religion.

• I can wiggle my nose like a rabbit.

Things I would like about you:

• You should be within an hour of Kansas City. I am open to the idea of a LDR but I have a horrible recent experience with that. It would be an uphill battle for sure.

• If you're a work in progress on any of these things, so am I. Don't let anything I wrote here stop you from putting yourself out there. Just say "hi" or "you look like a bitch" or something. It doesn't have to be funny just say whatever you want to get started. Make it really weird right off the bat!

• You should be 30-50 years old. I would prefer it if you were closer to my age(41) but I can't afford to alienate anyone at this point in my life simply based on age.

• I'm not too picky about physical appearances, but you should get regular exercise and feel happy and healthy with yourself. All nationalities and all skin tones are welcome in my life.

• If you're drowning in debt and making no effort to fix this, then we probably aren't going to get along. But hey, I like playing with fire sometimes too.

• Patient - I am not the most outwardly sociable person, its very difficult for me to talk to new people comfortably. Let me cook.

• Talkative - This isn't totally necessary but I've found that I get along better with people who can poke and prod at me to get me out of my own head.

• You should be kind to other people everywhere you go.

You're not too picky about where we go and what we do as long as we are spending quality time together. I see all of these dating profiles demanding a perfect man that shits out a perfect date on his first try with you. That ain't me, I'm going to fuck up repeatedly as I learn more about you. I'm not into repeating something that "worked" on someone else, I just want to do the things that come up naturally. Elaborate plans on a first date are just loaded with pretense and unnecessary pressure. If we talk on the phone and get along lets just do the things we normally do and see if the other enjoys them too. Elaborate plans come later, not first IMO.

Congratulations for making it this far I guess, here's a picture of me.

TLDR pic
Roast the "beard" it's a new thing I'm trying. Considering going down to just a mustache. Don't you dare criticize my cat shirt though, I will fight you.