Looking for my beautiful and intelligent girlfriend - 2

Hello single women of Bushwick, I am a woman looking for intimacy, commitment, and romance.

I live alone by myself in a okayish apartment in a dirty, ratty apartment complex in eastern Crown Heights.

My rent is affordable, and my neighbors are lovely (except for my upstairs neighbor when she is having a schizophrenic episode).

I have Shein addiction and travel to L-Train vintage when I can. Otherwise I buy nicer clothes every now and then.

So ideally you too have a Shein addiction and we could be each other's muses and model for each other. So we can buy clothes for each other all the time. (I have a sewing machine, I don't use it).

I'm non-monogamous, but could try out mono. I've never been a fuckboi, but I have some of their skills, only used for good intentions (I swear!). I oddly only have student loan debt right now.

I don't have a good relationship with my family - haven't talked to them in 12 years. But I have my chosen people. :-)

I have disturbing fetishes. Like, I hear that scientifically, that those who eat booty have a more robust gut microbe. I wanna dress up as a clown and hear honking noises when my breasts are squeezed. I also have this cute cow bikini and ears, and I want to be miiiillllkkked MOOOOOOOOO.

I have anger problems. I grunt a lot. I'm in school after my layoff for an MBA specifically so I can yell at people.

I have 1.5 house plants and they are alright. I'd like more though - maybe after vacation.

I am not educated at all. I AM LITERALLY A DUM GIRL THAT DOESN'T KNOW HOWTO READ.

I go-to the gym infrequently. I believe if you eat with your eyes closed the calories don't count. I prefer to sweat it out at the beach or hottub.

I play piano - I'm working through Alfreds piano course.

You should be cranky and funnie. Ideally your in your 30s like me and have back problems. If you are under the age of 30 you are not allowed to call me mommy, but can call me mommi.

Okay, so I had the idea of posting this thread, now I've done it, resident haters of Bushwick dig in, tell me what a fool I am. Get mean if you want, have fun. I can't take it. :-(