Got fired, most definitely my fault but the situation was just…bad.

So I got hired for full time RBT of April this year, I was excited to join. I was a bit nervous at the clinic but I thought it would be fine. However I met one coworker who I thought was hot.

He was a “ABA apprentice” or “BCBA in training”. We were around the same age. We were getting to know each other but the problem was I was touch starved and he was very attractive, then the clinical director thought it was a good idea to put us both on the same client so I can be used as a supervision example. When we were getting to know each other I said “my thighs were hurting” and he said “what were you doing last night?” I said “working out? What did you think I was doing?”, He said “you never know…”

I was mildly uncomfortable with this interaction but I think he was trying to be funny, part of me interpreted this as mutual romantic interest.

One day him and a never coworker came in the room , dapper me up, and proceeded to squeeze my arms, I was blushing, they saw it and started making jokes. In my head was: “he must have feelings for me too, there is no reasonable way someone in a leadership position what be this physical with a new employee unless he knew I was feeling him too.”

Eventually, I asked him what his birthday was, he looked at me as if he knew why I asked. “I’m a Leo”. It caught me by surprise. “I’m an Aquarius” I said as a response.

There was one time when we were deflating a bounce house he told me that he played every sport unprompted. I told him I played no sports.

After we got done with that, I stood by the door and bent over to tie my shoes. He comes behind me, slaps me on the butt and says “alright bro, see you later”

My mind was racing a 1000 miles per hour. “Ok, he’s obviously feeling me too, ain’t no fucking way that actually happened”.

After ther interaction I squeezed him in the arm and he says “did you just squeezed me on the arm?” I said “yeah?…” and he says “ don’t do that to the girls doe, they might file a HR complaint.

…..wut.

I then texted him on teams. “Hi were you flirting with me since I got here or were you being friendly ?”

He said “ no I was being cordial 🤣.”

I said “oh ok”

“Cordial?….CORDIAL?” I said mentally.

I noticed after this he started distancing himself from me. I was slightly upset.

I asked him what did he want from his birthday, he gets up and walks away, while asking me to ask another coworker.

I went to pat him him on the shoulder he said “you always touch me on the shoulder.”

I said “you squeezed my arm the third day I got here.”

I then sent him a text on teams saying “sorry, if it felt like I was calling you out about the arm squeeze but you also slapped me on the butt when I got here, booped my nose, and did a bunch of gestures that made me-think you were flirting with me. As a gay man, please don’t do that again, it hurt and confused me. I said I respected our professional relationship.

He said sounds good.

After that he avoids me twice as hard, only interacting with me if he has too. One time I sat next to him in the kitchen, he gets up and tries to play it off. I texted him “I saw you get up, I heard you loud and clear” he says “all good”. I then see him in the hallway and he says “…you’re still here”. I didn’t know what he meant by that so I said “don’t worry I’ll be leaving soon.”

He says “oh you are funny” and awkwardly laughs.

After that I sent him another teams message: “ first you sxually harassed me, gaslighted me by saying you were being cordial, then you started avoiding me. I am really starting to hate you, I thought it was hot at first but the more I started thinking about the sequence of events the more messed up I think it was. F**k you.

HR gets called on me, I get fired soon after.

My mother told me I am dumb for not calling HR and putting my business on teams, and for not leaving him alone when he was avoiding me.

Another coworker told me that slapping on the behind is what guys do on the sports team. Problem is we are not in the sports field , nor Toni play sports, we are in the workplace. There are some guys that don’t want another man touching them.

My friends gave me some advice, but I mainly wanted to see what the ABA community thinks of this issue. Ironically the company I got fired from is going through 3 lawsuits so maybe I wasn’t destined to be there anyways.

But what do you all think v?