My sweet baby Violet who was somewhere between 12-15 years old passed suddenly this past Saturday. She had been declining over the last 2-3 years and had lost 3.5 pounds in 3 years, leaving her at just 6 lbs when she passed. 1.4 lbs of that was in the last year.

I took her to the vet every year and sometimes multiple times a year for UTIs and GI issues. She had frequent vomiting her entire life. In the last 6 months, most days with water and hairballs, with occasional food. I tried to get it under control with food and supplements but it always continued. She had her first UTI in 2019, over 7 years ago.

Over the last year she went to the vet more.  
\-July 2025- Annual Appointment  
\-November 2025- threw up pink tinged vomit  
\-March 2026- showed signs of kidney disease and anemia (bloodwork) and put on early kidney care Purina pro plan  
\-August 2026- she was due for her annual appointment. I scheduled it for the next afternoon but around 3pm noticed she was a bit stiff and wobbly in her back legs. I took her in first thing the next morning. Her bloodwork showed Stage 3 kidney disease and borderline transfusion needed level anemia. The vet sent me home with a bunch of supplements and instructions for kidney care which I started buying and using right away.

2 days later, my husband woke up first. He usually did. Took the dog out and then went to check on my baby. She was limp and barely breathing and had experienced diarrhea in her bed. He picked her up and she purred a small purr in his arms. He placed her back down and woke me up. I gave her a quick pet and started to get dressed. I didn’t want her to suffer if she wasn’t already gone. My husband picked her up to put her in the carrier (the carrier wasn’t needed but I just defaulted to that) and she defecated. I hope this means she was already gone before we left our home. I knew she wasn’t breathing on the way to the vet and 10 minutes later when we arrived, they confirmed she had passed.

Now why I blame myself and am so absolutely guilt ridden.

14 days before she passed she had an accident with our dog. We kept them separated with the cat having her own room and bathroom and cat/dog gates on the doors. Our dog is a 50 lbs German Shepard husky mix. Sometimes my baby cat would come out and sometimes my dog would chase her. Sometimes my dog would just sniff. My dog thought it was always play when my cat hissed and hit and didn’t intentionally hurt her at any point.

I had a bad day and it was late in the evening. Sometimes my cat would come out to the couch in the evenings and sit with us. That night, I brought my cat out to the living room. A few minutes later she bolted and the dog chased her. The dog lost her footing on the hardwood and they both slammed into the bedroom door. I knew I had made a horrible mistake and I went to my cat. I checked her everywhere for tenderness, pain and checked her breaths per minute. Everything seemed okay. I kept a close eye on her for a few hours and was there with her the next couple days.

10 days later she became wobbly with stiff back legs.  
14 days after the incident, she was gone.

I cycle through believing it was a stroke or kidney disease crash and that I caused her death by bringing her out to the living room that night.

Any vet techs or veterinarians, please, did I get her killed?

My at least 12 year old baby passed suddenly on Saturday. I’m devastated and blaming myself.